Loving Yourself…Mind, Body And Soul With Shireen Janti [Episode 17]

Understanding The Human Condition | Shireen Janti | Loving Yourself

 

Join Dr. Flowers and co-host Robin French as they sit down with Shireen Janti, LAADC, Life Coach, and Senior Director of MusiCares, to explore the incredible impact of MusiCares’ life-saving work. Shireen shares the organization’s dedication to helping those struggling with addiction, offering holistic support ranging from medical and dental care to psychotherapy and daily living needs. In this heartfelt episode, Shireen provides a rare glimpse into her personal and professional journey, inspiring listeners to embrace self love and the healing power of recovery.

Listen to the podcast here

 

Loving Yourself…Mind, Body And Soul With Shireen Janti [Episode 17]

I am so excited, Robin, that we have one of my absolute favorite people in the world, one of my best friends, and someone that I adore and love. I’ve been looking forward to this for a few months.

That’s awesome. Hello, Shireen.

I’m a little nervous about interviewing her.

She’s so pretty.

It’s so good to be here. Thanks for having me.

How are you, Shireen?

How could I not be okay looking at one of my very best friends in my life, and someone who I respect and honor and love? I’m great. Robin, it’s so nice to meet you.

Shireen Janti’s Career And Achievements

Nice to meet you, too. Shireen Janti has been a force in the field of chemical dependency for over 31 years. Her credentials include obtaining her LAADC, which is Licensed Advanced Alcohol and Drug Counselor, CRPS, Certified Relapse Prevention Specialist, and her certification as a Professional Life Coach.

Shireen joined the MusiCares team in 2004, which is a charitable arm of the Recording Academy, otherwise known as The Grammys. She started in the role of an Addiction Recovery Specialist, and with hard work, commitment, and tenacity, she moved up the ranks into the title of Senior Director that she proudly holds now. Shireen manages and facilitates all facets and services that MusiCares provides that includes health and human services, addiction recovery assessment, referral, and case management.

She’s a public speaker with a focus on helping women. She facilitates panels and workshops on varied topics that bring education, awareness, prevention, and resources. She oversees seven nationwide MusiCares addiction recovery support groups along with two sober jams for the music community in Austin, Texas, and Los Angeles, California.

How do you get through the day?

What are you talking about?

It’s like, “Is that me?” That is you. I’ve had the pleasure of watching you grow and grow your career at MusiCares. No matter where I am in the United States, when I’m traveling, even when I was speaking in London a couple of years ago, people ask about Shireen because everyone knows we’re so close, “How is Shireen, and what’s going on at MusiCares?” She’s amazing. Shireen, you are a force in our field. You’re a leader in our field. You’re this amazing mentor to so many women and other people as well. Your life is an example of how we should all live our lives.

Thank you.

How did you two meet?

I feel like we’ve known each other since I was one year old.

I can tell you when I remember about our connection. I believe we may have met once before that you may have told me but when I remember you, it was at one of our MusiCares fundraisers, the biggest one that we do every year. It’s always two days before The Grammys Person of the Year. You were there with another friend of yours who came. We were in the auction room. We were crossing and there you were.

I remember.

You were with Louise.

That’s right. I was with Dr. Stanger.

I felt that was our official meet, even though we met before. I remember looking at you and meeting you. It was brief but then very shortly after that, you invited me to tour one of your facilities at the time. When I came there, which was not that long after we had met at the event, I don’t even know when that was exactly.

It was a long time ago.

I will say this genuinely from my heart. I fell in love with you the minute that we connected that day of that tour and when we went out to tour out in the wilderness and just talked ever since then.

You and I literally went and found a corner of the world to sit on that day. We sat for a few hours.

We’ve been besties ever since. Every now and then, I got chills.

Thank you. I love you. The night we met at the auction, I bought a Melissa Etheridge guitar.

He loves auctions.

I love auctions. Shireen knows that. I always raise my hand like, “Pick me.” I bought an Africa trip that I never went on. There are so many different things, but it’s such an amazing organization, MusiCares. I love working with Shireen. Shireen, I want to share a beautiful quote from you, “It’s important to find your truth and voice to create change and shifting your world.” I love that. Tell me what that means to you.

It’s very powerful. Even though I do work a lot with women, that does apply. The more and more that I connect with people and around people who are willing to be transparent and vulnerable and take a risk, whether it’s women or men, I’m finding more and more how we all are so uniquely the same in so many ways as far as feeling vulnerable and sometimes not good enough. Are we worthy? Most of all, layers of fear. Intellectually, we get and understand a lot emotionally. A lot of times, we can’t back up what we intellectually know.

There have been years and years of me knowing that intellectually, I had a voice of what I felt inside, but not having the courage and faith to stand up for myself and use that voice. Part of getting to that point is knowing who you are but doing the work to know, “What is my work? What do I deserve?” The more that we do the work to know who we are and our self-worth, the stronger we get to be courageous and finally use that voice.

The more that we do the work to know who we are and know our self-worth, the stronger we get to be.

I’ll roll the dice here. I’m 60-plus years old. I say that proudly though because I remember when I was 30, 60 seemed like it was ancient. I have to tell you, I wish it didn’t take so long but thank God, I feel like I’m finally getting there through all the trials, lessons, and experiences of life, being a mother and a daughter. I have been married twice and divorced twice, friendships, jobs, and relationships. We all can go down the list of the lessons and experiences I finally feel like in the last several years of my life.

It’s always been a build, but the last solid several years of my life have been like, “How do I want to end these last few years of my life, whether it’s 20 or 30 years? What am I willing to do?” There were clearly patterns in doing the work and not to keep blaming other people either, but it was about seeing what my part is. What are my patterns? What do I need to see in me in order to create shift and change? With that statement, it comes down to, “Who am I, and what do I stand for?” If I don’t know exactly, I’m going to find out so I can start using that voice to finally be true to myself, which hopefully will help others.

You and I get to talk about those deep things all the time on the phone. That’s the way she lives her life. It’s authentic and real. She is who she is. You look amazing. I cannot believe you’re 60-plus years old.

I thought you were in your 40s. I swear to God I did it. I thought she was younger than us.

I’m going to ask you since you said you were 60-plus years old. You look so amazing. I’m looking at you and I see your mother when she was younger. Tell everyone who your mother is. I wish you had a photo of her to show. I wish you had the Indian photo handy. I love your mother so much. How is she? Number one. Tell everybody who she is and a little bit about her life.

Thank you. My mom is, first of all, my mom. Now, I’m Mrs. Janti. James is talking about she’s had a very fulfilling, interesting life. She was born in Poland, and then they migrated out here to the States. She went to school for acting in New York at the School of Fame. Her family went to Peru and they lived in Peru for a while. She was doing a play in Peru, and this Hollywood producer happened to be there in Peru, watching my mom’s play.

He brought her whole family to Hollywood and made her an aspiring star. She’s done quite a few movies, sitcoms, and TV shows when she was younger, a lot of it before I was born, and the first maybe 5 or 6 years of when I was little. She’s stunningly beautiful. She has this life of privilege and living a dream that many could only hope for. She’s also very spiritual and religious. She was always on a path, she chose to leave acting.

She’s done many things like working with Head Start. She was the head of the Head Start program and then ended up being special assistant to Mayor Tom Bradley here in Los Angeles for over ten years working with the aging. She’s writing her second book. She sits at her computer in there and she lives with me. She’s a manager. She’s a very interesting person, educated, and worldly.

She’s amazing. Is that where you get your fortitude from, Shireen, and your own thing, get up and go and confidence?

You are so kind. I would like to give her some credit there but let me be honest and have my voice, and say a part of the reason why I work with women specifically, but again, men too. Sometimes, I do have men come up to me after I’ve spoken, depending on what type of meeting it is. I’ll never expect it to be a man that says, “Thank you so much. What you shared is what I feel, what I’ve done, or what I’ve been through.” I’m like, “You’re welcome.”

With my mom being an actress, I will tell you, many children of actors or people in entertainment grow up feeling less bad because they have this big personality of a parent that gets all this attention. On the outside, she was perfect, and on the inside, many of us know but at home is home and it’s a different story. I had a lot of low self-worth, not only with my mom but also with my father.

Even though they loved me and said good things, it was my journey within myself, as many of us have. Quite frankly because of so many choices I’ve made that were certainly not choices, my mom would have suggested or either one of my parents, I feel lucky. There are threads of my mother and whoever has been a part of my life and has been instilled in me.

I truly will say this out loud. I believe that whoever is searching and seeking more finds. If we’re not searching and seeking, the answers can be there but we never find them or they could be right in front of us. I was at a point in my life where I was searching and seeking. A lot of who I believe I found on my own from meeting people like you and the work that we’re doing together with other people. If anything, I feel like I’ve helped my family have a voice.

Yes, you have.

A lot of my family has been about the outside stuff and having love and friends.

I wish we had a picture of your beautiful ballerina daughter.

I should have known.

I should have thought of it ahead of time. You have such a beautiful family. Shireen, tell us a little bit about what brought you through your road to recovery and living a life in recovery. You lived this amazing, authentic life, and a lot of that I know you also credit to a recovery program. Do you mind telling us a little bit about that?

No, especially since you already divulged that information, I’ll just keep rolling with that.

Thank you very much. You told me it was okay.

Shireen’s Personal Journey To Recovery

It is okay. You know that I’m just teasing you. I’m so happy and grateful that I can be open about that. Many reasons that we understand cannot be open and it’s not always a safe place to be open about our past or where we come from. Going through the work that I have seen historically, I’ve always had an addictive personality and behavior. That was way before I ever even had a drink or a drive.

I remember at five years old finding what would be soothing. What soothes me? A lot of that for me was sugar and food. That was easy. Also, choice and whatever it was. When we talk about progressive, I remember at five, there were things that filled me then. As I got older, it shifted some of the things that would fill my soul so I thought at that time. I did end up getting into drugs very early. At twelve years old, I started drinking and experimenting. Very rapidly, it happened to me. I used a lot of drugs and drank until I got sober at 30 years old. I presently have several years sober.

Congratulations.

There’s nothing short of a miracle. Of course, I go back to joking because I still think I’m 31, so how can I have 31 years sober? Part of feeling like I’m 31 is the work that I’ve done and that my spirit is young. I feel young inside and I feel excited about life, even when times are hard. For all of us, this has been such a challenging year, let alone months and years of most of our lives. It’s been hard.

I’m so grateful for the recovery that I have. I have to tell you, I know people with 30 years, 20 years, 25 years, and 17 years but with a lot of time who have decided to drink or start taking prescription meds, and then they’re addicted again because of the chaos, stress, depression, and fear going on. What made me decide, to answer your question, to get sober is I always knew intuitively that that wasn’t the answer but it was my road for a long time.

I did get pregnant during the time that I was using and I did decide to have my daughter. At the time I got sober, she was six. A huge part of it was being a mother and looking at my life like, “Is this the direction I want to go?” Also, the people I was surrounding myself with and the situations I was in. I got myself into some pretty hairy situations. Even though I was lucky and still worked for some pretty great places, I saw my life spiraling out. It was that moment when they say I’ve hit so many barriers and bottoms and kept trying to do it my way until I realized you have to do it. I did and I have. I continue to do so and never there. I’m always working on the next level of growth.

Recovery is a continuous journey. It’s not about reaching a destination but constantly growing, healing, and learning.

Congratulations on 31 years. It’s amazing. You’re such an example to so many people every day who are seeking recovery, new in recovery, and even old-timers. You were talking about stress and all the chaos of 2020. It’s been such a crazy year. You work in the recording industry. COVID has hit very hard in 2020. How are you coping at work? How has MusiCares been affected by COVID and your musicians around the world? How does all this tie together? How did it affect all of your human conditions, as we say?

First of all, when COVID first hit, for all of us, it didn’t matter who we were, it was surreal. It was like, “Is this even happening?” It was so hard to believe. It hit us so quickly out of nowhere. Being in the music industry, I feel so deeply for so many people because so many of our musicians tour so a big part of their money is concerts, especially in the summer, with all the festivals that come up nationwide. Everybody was affected. It came to a halt completely and still is.

Little by little as things happen, we’re all learning how to be creative. There’s virtual this and that like what we’re doing. It’s a work in progress for everybody trying to find balance and not still knowing what the future holds. When it first happened, we skyrocketed. I’ll speak for myself. As a company, I feel so proud to work for MusiCares, which is under the umbrella of The Recording Academy, which is what’s on The Grammy Awards telecast.

They have taken care of us. They’ve been able to love us, protect us, and have the ability. We all work pretty much remotely from home and we still do. They may look in 2021, depending on what happens, maybe scouring people back in but they’re protecting us, working at home, creating space that we can do that. At first, it was upside down, trying to work it all out.

I’ll tell you though, we were so fortunate. I’ve been at MusiCares for several years. It’s amazing. To give you an idea of what 2019 looked like and how people stepped up, in the music community, in our last fiscal year, we helped close to 8,000 people for the entire year, which is a pretty good number. In the first 4 to 6 weeks of COVID in March 2020, we helped over 17,000 compared to 700 to 800 in the whole year. That gives you an idea.

Many companies and people step in, contribute, and donate money to us. On top of the money we have and some money that was matched, we were able to raise close to $20 million. We give grants out to the entire music community. We had an influx of people climbing. It felt so good but let me tell you, we’d never worked so hard. We were all on the verge of a breakdown ourselves.

James, if you remember, I cried sometimes because I didn’t know how we could get through the day or we’d be up like, “How can we make this happen?” We have our own trauma. We’re trying to be there for other people but then we’re still trying to stabilize ourselves and what’s going on. It was an interesting time but I love working for MusiCares. I say that deeply. Not just MusiCares but The Grammys because The Grammys take care of us.

You asked what it was like. They care for us and touch base with us. If we need help, they send us little gift cards for lunch on Grubhub every now and then. We have check-ins. Little by little, musicians are trying to find their way, but it is a time in life where we’re all redefining how we do what we do and if we continue to do what we do. It’s another opportunity to go deeper again.

We all love music and we have our favorite performers but sadly, musicians are afflicted with substance use disorders. We’ve lost a lot of brilliant musicians to drugs and alcohol over the years. Can you tell us why it’s so prevalent in the music industry? Talk a little bit about that.

Why Substance Use Is Prevalent In The Music Industry

First of all, as a musician, you’re almost always around alcohol and drugs. Many other people can choose not to be, they have boundaries, or it’s easier to have those boundaries. In that world, especially back right in the ‘80s, rock and roll and all that, the whole stigma was to be cool, have fun, party, drink, music, rock and roll. That’s that life. Wherever you go, whether it is festivals, bars, or clubs, it’s infiltrated with alcohol. Always, drugs are in the background.

As a musician, you’re always around that. Also as a musician, you have, I’ll call them your yes people. They always say yes and never say no. They’re either scared because they want to stay on the payroll or they don’t want to get you mad. They don’t have the courage or they have their own fear, even if they know that you’re hurting yourself, and even if they want to have a voice. We’re talking about that voice again. “What are you doing to yourself?” The musician gets mad and says, “Forget you, you’re out of here.”

People always say yes and never say no. They’re either afraid because they want to stay on the payroll, or they don’t want to make you angry.

A lot of people out of fear, greed, or whatever it is that prevents them from having a voice know and they will bring them whatever they want. Sometimes the musician doesn’t even ask for it. They readily have people offering them free drugs, free this, free that all the time to become their friends and in their circle. Also what I found is because their life travels the way they do and a lot of times, they’re up all night or their concerts are late so they start getting introduced to pills, speed, and amphetamines to get them up and then the downers to bring them down, and whatever comes with that. That’s on the prescription side of things but then with your basic street drugs and underground stuff that’s readily available.

It’s the pressure to also be on point, perform, and travel. The list goes on and on. I could talk about that’s a subject in itself but it’s the various pressures of being an entertainment period and what you are constantly around. Even when people do choose to get help, James, it’s so much harder for them, even though they have the same access to meetings or things because I could choose to say, “I’m not going to go back to working and doing this,” or, “ I’m not going to go to a restaurant. I’m not going to go to a bar.” Their life is still that. They’re still having to go back to that and have that in their face daily.

Something that you get to do all the time, other than with COVID, you’ve invited me to go many times and that’s to concerts, music venues, festivals, and Coachella. Shireen runs the sober room, isn’t it?

It’s the safe harbor room.

I didn’t realize this but even at concerts, venues, and music festivals, there’s a safe harbor room. Shireen, would you tell everyone about what you do in the safe harbor room and what it is? I can’t stress how important it is to musicians and their staff.

James, thank you. I’m so happy that you’ve been able to experience that so you know what I’m about to say is true. I’m so happy you’ve done this with me. I’ve always loved having you with me. It’s my favorite thing that I get to do. Probably because I am in recovery myself so I get it, but yes, we’ve had the gift and privilege at all the major music festivals. We’re always backstage at The Grammy Awards show, Latin Grammys, country music, or any of them. We will have a private space that is available for all the rehearsal days leading up to the day of the show where artists, crews, staff, and anybody who is a part of the show who may be in recovery or needing recovery can come. We hold Twelve-Step meetings for them while they’re working 24 hours around the clock most of the time.

James has been there so he experienced it but the people that come in are so grateful and full of tears, whether they have some long-term sobriety. It’s a place to exhale and breathe. People who have walked by and saw the sign on the door are like, “What’s that?” They weren’t sober but they knew they needed to be. They come back a year later and they’ll be here sober because of our safe harbor room. It’s a safety net for people who need a safe place to go. Even at these shows, people are popping pills and drinking. It’s true. A lot of people aren’t but then after hours and they’re done, there are parties. There’s nonstop stuff. It’s a place to connect and know that you’re not alone.

Advice For Those Struggling With Addiction Or Seeking Help

What advice would you give to someone reading this episode about being brave enough to seek help and a life of recovery? Whether they’re musicians or anyone in general.

It’s not even just my experience. It’s the gift of having a better life. I don’t want to just say Twelve-Step because I don’t believe Twelve-Step is the only way. We all have to find our way. It’s been one of the most successful ways I’ll say. One of the gifts of getting sober myself has been to give it back and help others. There’s been no greater gift than when I’ve had the courage, whether it’s to get sober, leave a relationship that’s not healthy for you, or make changes with diet and food. Whatever it is that brings you sadness or that’s not good for you, have the courage.

All I can say is that we can all be very comfortable in what’s not good for us because we’re used to comfort and familiarity, even if it’s not good like anything in life. I’ll use the COVID experience for all of us, even starting Zoom. I was so resistant to Zoom. Many people are like, “I hate it.” Do I miss the human touch? “I don’t want to hug you right now.” Yes, I do. How happy am I that I get to see you and meet Robin. Without Zoom, I wouldn’t even have that. If we were in COVID, we wouldn’t even have a connection. Everything that we do, we adapt and allow ourselves to.

For people who may need help, whether it’s with drugs, alcohol, or if you’re in an abusive relationship, we’re scared because we don’t know what’s on the other side. “What’s on the other side? Give me the crystal ball.” All I can share is that there’s magic on the other side but you got to do your work like we do our work to get the drink and drug and be loved. If you do the work to get on the other side and let people like us help you, you will experience life. You have to be patient. Sometimes it comes quickly and sometimes slowly. There’s this thing that will always materialize if you hang in there.

I’ll close with this. If nothing changes, nothing changes. That’s not just in the negative. Also, if you keep doing what you do, you keep getting what you get and that’s not in a negative term. That’s in a positive. There are many times when you start doing things positively and think, “How come things aren’t changing?” You want to go back to the negative. No, you have to hang in there and keep doing the positive. One day, you’re going to be surprised. Something changes and shifts. You’re so grateful. I don’t know if that’s that but nothing comes easy and nothing good comes out of something usually bad, except for making us want to change.

If nothing changes, nothing changes. To see positive results, you have to keep doing the work, even when it’s hard.

Shireen, thank you so much. This is amazing. I know how busy you are. Even before we started this show, you were returning emails while we were chatting. I’ve heard your emails go off a little bit. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say hello to Zoe. I love that dog. Shireen also is a huge fan of animals and is a rescuer. Zoe is a rescue.

I’ll end with this little story or I’ll try to. There are so many great stories. I have my Zoe, who’s a pit bull. She was going to be killed the day after I had rescued her so if I didn’t rescue her, they were going to put her down. Pit bulls have a bad rap. They’re fighting dogs, killers, and all this stuff. A lot of people don’t want pit bulls because they’re scared. She was so broken.

They’re like us. When I say us, whoever struggles. We’ve had a tough life. We’re judged. People were judged unfairly. I remember people saying she would never change, meaning me. Like a dog never changed, I was never changing and I thought so. I saw this look in her eyes. There were so many other choices that could have been so much easier for sure. I had no idea what I was getting with her because there was no history but she was broken for sure.

All I can say to you is that every day, I took a risk to put my face in her face. I didn’t know if she was going to bite my head off or what but I loved her. I’ve had her for years and she’s amazing. She still has her issues. We all can have issues. I have little Tucker who’s running around. He’s a little mini Pin. I’ll end with this. I hope somebody reads this. If you’re struggling, whether it’s recovery, with relationships, or all the things we’ve talked about, the one thing that I have learned in 2020, if nothing else is, is why am I mind enough? Can I pause to believe in something different and recondition myself to be open to something different?

We are programmed as human beings to be attracted to certain people and like certain things. It becomes familiar in a program. I need to tell you that I do not like little dogs at all. They annoyed me. I did not want one. Zoe, I wanted her to have a partner. He’s very dog-aggressive. Any dog I tried, which was the kind of dog I wanted, which was a big dog or another pit bull, would not take to. One day, I’m coming back from New York. James, you were with me in New York. I’m coming back on this trip and my dog walker says, “You’re not going to believe it. I found a dog for Zoe.” I couldn’t be happier. I was ecstatic.

I remember.

I said, “Do you have a picture?” She showed me a picture and said, “It’s a little dog.” Everything about this little dog I didn’t want. I was like, “No, I can’t have that dog.” Fast forward, I decided to keep him. It wasn’t, first of all, about me. It was about Zoe but even if it was about me, it’s the relationship. Let’s say somebody comes into your life and you’re like, “No, that’s not who I’m attracted to.” There’s a force that brings people, experiences, and things to us. I kept this little dog and allowed my heart to open. I could not love him more. I love all little dogs and everything about them I didn’t love. The message in that story is this can happen to all of us.

They are best friends.

They’re the cutest thing ever. Thank you, James. You know that that’s it.

If someone wants to reach you or MusiCares, how do they contact you?

Closing And How To Reach MusiCares

We have an office in New York, Nashville, and here in LA. You can go to www.MusiCares.org. That’s our website. All our regions are there and contact numbers. Anybody can reach out to me directly. My phone number at MusiCares, which comes right into my home, is (310) 581-1259. Call me. My email is Shireen.Janti@Grammy.com.

You’re probably going to get some single guys reaching out. I was thinking about that when you said this is my personal line in my home. I’m like, “She’s going to get some calls.”

I work a lot. Let me say this too. A lot of people think that MusiCares is just for musicians. Let me be clear. What I love about MusiCares is it is for anybody who works in the music industry. It could be a stagehand, an engineer, or a tour bus driver.

It’s good to know.

There are certain criteria but it’s very lax, liberal, and lenient. We want to help the weak hands.

Many of the folks that MusiCares has helped, I’ve seen so many of their videos. They save lives every single day. Shireen, you’re part of that in saving those lives and getting people help all over the country.

James, I need to thank you personally and your team. Listen, besides me loving you and you being one of my dearest friends, this is no joke, but you have been so supportive of MusiCares. If it wasn’t because of you and you working with us, I’ve always loved being able to send our clients to you. Thank you for the love, support, kindness, and true professional treatment you have given.

I love working with you, guys. Thank you. That means the world to me.

Also, allowing us to do what we do. We raise the money. We help so many people, which you know, and it’s a labor of love. People are working with us so we have to negotiate rates that are much less than what’s normal to help the people that we feel need it. Thank you for being one of those.

We’re all in this together. Thank you. I love you, Shireen, so much.

If someone wants to reach J. Flowers Health Institute, who do they call?

It’s www.JFlowersHealth.com. They can call our office line at (713) 783-6655. Thank you, Robin. Thanks, Shireen.

Thank you. Bye, Shireen.

Love you.

Have a great holiday.

Love you. Have a good day.

Thank you. Bye.

 

Important Links